Peeps and Ice Cream

Some Favorite Moments

2012-01-29T21:23:00.000-06:00

Some favorite moments... in no particular order...

the bus arrives with the first load of kids!

the dream becoming a reality!

i got the jump on one of these and ride into town packed in with all the graduates!

the trade school graduates march through the streets of Pader...

an amazing gift for these kids that would likely have never finished school!

watching a traditional dance from the kids.

the first morning i was out spending time with the Lord and saw this boy walking home with water.

it broke my heart to see his hand and arm that was shriveled.

little did i know he would be at camp and capture my heart with his sweet, sweet smile!

we weren't sure how the drama would translate.

but such a sweet joy to see the kids get it and get involved in the story!

huge highlight was introducing fiona (our amazing cook) to grilled cheese sandwiches :)

watching these kids laugh and play on the same land that was once full of death and destruction.

taking pics of all the groups... the fun ones are my personal favs!

theme of camp... a heart that's his!

seeing jane again! i met her on my first trip and i was so excited that she came to camp!

when kyle turned around and told me that dominique, his sponosored kid, was put in his small group!

watching kyle thompson get so excited about helping the kids put the verse in the right order.

laughter of these sweet little ones.

all kids fired up over the crafts (i mean fine arts!)

our team carrying water to serve the women.

this water was carried every day to fill the tanks that allowed us to take showers. very humbling.

and will washington. he was the crazy ref that started each drama. there really aren't words!!!

An. Amazing. Team.

2012-01-28T19:54:00.000-06:00

It's been hard to decide what pics to share next. And I continue to be in shock that it's over. We were on the plane headed to London and I said... "It is so surreal to me. We were just in Uganda for 8 days, right?" David pipes up from the seat behind me and says... "It happened! AND it was AWESOME!" This keeps ringing in my head every time I doubt!

So the next three words...
AN.
AMAZING.
TEAM.

This group of people could not have been more phenomenal! Some of them said yes the moment we asked, and some needed some time to really process and be convinced it was what the Lord had next for them. But...

they all dove in and didn't look back! They loved and played and laughed and jumped and sang and crafted and ran their hearts out. They served without a single complaint. And most importantly they shared the love of Jesus with each and every kiddo they came in contact with.

I'm so thankful for them. And feel extremely blessed that I got to experience this amazing week with each of them. Even if I sometimes wonder if it really happened! At least I have pictures to prove that it happened!

Provision, Joy, & Family

2012-01-22T21:03:00.001-06:00

It is very hard for me to believe that HIS Camp 2012 is over! It flew by and felt so surreal the whole time. It was amazing and hard to choose words to share. I have a ton of photos to go through and want to get the rest of the teams as well. But as I downloaded mine tonight, these 3 stuck out to me.

This pic doesn't look like it says much, but in reality it screams PROVISION! When we started planning for this trip we had NO IDEA how kids would get to camp, how they would sleep or be fed. We left Dallas not really knowing how it would all come together. But as we arrived at camp we saw these layed out on the field. Mattresses for all the kids. AMAZING! And that is exactly how the entire week went. God provided everything we would need for all the kids that He brought to us. Another side of His PROVISION was how I felt all week. I was nervous heading into camp not knowing exactly what it would be like. But He provided in supernatural ways. I slept, I woke up early, I had energy, and made it through each day pretty well. So thankful for His PROVISION!

This one represents JOY. As we prepped and wrote the curriculum and created the crafts for all these kids we had hope that young and old kids alike would have fun with all the different crafts and activities and that they would experience the JOY and fun of learning about God's love! Boy did they. We watched the little ones have a blast the first couple of days and then the older kids jumped in and loved every minute of it. What a gift to see their JOY!

And this one... FAMILY. Watermark sponsors over 600 kids and we get to be a part of that by individually jumping in and sponsoring individual kids. Many of our team members kiddos were there and it was such sweet moments seeing them connect. They got to hang out with their extended family and experience love and fun times together. Love seeing these kids who have lost so much feel the love and acceptance of our team and to be reminded of God's love for us and how He adopts us into his family.

It's going to take a while to process all that was this past week. And I will update as I do. Lots of pics to share... and I promise there will be lots of smiling faces!!!

Thanks so much to all of you who supported and prayed for us on this trip... your prayers were answered!

Video Thursday... David & Goliath

2012-01-12T16:41:00.000-06:00

Here We Go!

2012-01-12T11:54:00.002-06:00

It is so hard for me to believe that in 5 hours I will be sitting on a plane headed to Uganda to experience months and month of dreaming, planning and praying come to be a reality. I can't even remember how we all got into a room the first time but I do know why! Each of us has a heart for orphans and for them to know the love of Christ and to experience the joy and FUN of following Him.
I absolutely love the women that make up the team and the hearts they service with and the gifts they have. And then we went and built the most amazing team to go and make it happen. We will laugh a ton and we will labor hard together... I can't wait to see what God is going to do. I can't wait to see the kids faces as they sing the song that Chris wrote. I can't wait to see the leaders and mentors bond with their small groups. I can't wait to watch kids play games and laugh at crazy white people being goofy.
And it's here... today... we leave!
God is in control, we've listened and worked every detail and packed a crazy amount of stuff. We've trained, we've planned, we've reminded ourselves we will have to be flexible. And now... we get to watch God work. We get to go along for this amazing ride and see Him capture hearts to Himself.
AHHHHHHHHH... I am so excited... can you tell???
We covet your prayers... for bags to arrive, for health of our team, for logistics of kids getting there...
but most of all... for the kids hearts to be captured by His love and that we wouldn't miss one moment of what God is up to!
Here we go!

Go here to see our prayer calendar and to keep up with us over the next 10 days!
http://watermarkblogs.org/africa/

Video Thursday... Story of Jonah!

2012-01-05T09:00:00.000-06:00

Costa Rica!

2012-01-01T23:07:00.000-06:00

In September I had the blessing of going to Costa Rica with some staff friends. Each year crazy antics and bargaining go on for the 3 staff spots on the trip. Robbi and I began memorizing scripture together 2 years ago. She memorized the Sermon on the Mount and quoted her part perfectly to win a spot. She graciously invited me to go with her. The trip was amazing!

The pics are not in order... but a pretty good pic of how the trip was! We got to stay at an amazing place and LAUGHED until I cried multiple times. Enjoy...

We zip-lined and had a ball!

Brandy & Wes Butler, Robbi Russell, Mike & Holly Shelton

Our place even provided umbrellas!

On night for dinner we went to an all you can eat buffet... it was UNBELIEVABLE!

And my favorite part was these mango popsicles. I literally ate my weight in these things!

During the zipline day, we went off a tarzan swing. Listening to Mike scream like a girl was priceless!

And a little mud bath for our complexions!

Love, love, love me some nature.

This is a virgin mint pina colada... maybe had a couple of these!

And yes, they came around and sprayed our face with mist!

This guy was funny! He was just chillin' at the pool!

A very cool waterfall that we rode horses to get to.

And the final touch on one of our amazing days! I laughed because our guide stops the car so we can get out to see them. And I thought to myself... "he totally set these guys up for a better tip!"

There was an outdoor shower... this was the view. Maybe I stepped out of my comfort zone :)

We saw these guys on a golf cart tour around the amazing golf course.

The guy below got a little irritated with all the pictures!

Robbi and I's hot date the last night... after an amazing afternoon at the spa!

We went kayaking and these fish started to go crazy!!!

We decided it was time for P.E. at the school!

Also went snorkeling and go to take some cool underwater pictures.

Ans this is the breakfast from the last morning... oh my goodness... melt in your mouth!

It was such a blessing to get to go to such a gorgeous place and rest! Thank you Robbi for taking me with you!

Thanksgiving Day

2012-01-01T20:46:00.000-06:00

On Thanksgiving Day we went to the Japanese Gardens in Ft Worth. It was a very sunny and relaxing day! I didn't walk away with a ton of great pics, but here are a few that I liked...

New York!

2011-12-30T17:43:00.002-06:00

So it has taken me a while to get back into this blogging thing. Busy September and October, then I got a little sick and then I moved. Made for some crazy happenings... and lack of blogging. So thought I would do a little catch up...

NEW YORK!

Upon arrival found a whole slew of these cupcakes for a belated birthday celebration. My sister remembered my fav and cookied up a few dozen of these guys!

They were YUM!

One of my favorite things the whole trip was getting to see Mary Poppins on Broadway. It was so amazing! I felt like a little kid the whole time... just smiled through the entire performance.

And yep... I busted out some colored tights!

Steph attempting to walk up the wall... inspiration from the play!

One afternoon we ate our way through Chinatown. Dim-sun and all!

Green tea shaved ice with mango and green jelly!

Some really off the wall ice creams... (sadly I can't remember what they were called!

Then one night we had sushi... holy cow it was amazing!!!

I had some fun with the color accent on my little camera. I hadn't noticed before... but my sister's hand is a little creepy!

Got to go see the 911 Memorial. Really moving and amazing!

This fish dish was awesome!

A flower in Central Park!

And we took a night boat tour to see the lights of New York... it was really great!

A little fun with time lapse...

All in all it was a really fun trip! Thanks Steph and Jerry for your hospitality...

2011 in Review

2011-12-30T17:01:00.000-06:00

2011 has been another interesting and hard year.
One of the side effects of Lymes Disease for me as been a loss in memory. It has been so hard for me to just recall things like I used to. I would blame it on getting old, but I don't think I am quite that old yet. (I don't want this to sounds too dramatic, I don't have amnesia.)
But pictures have become a big part of jogging my memory. (I knew they would come in handy somehow!)
So here is some of 2011... in picture review!

Amazing snow and ice in February!

2nd trip to Haiti... watching our kids love and serve the Haitian kiddos was priceless!

Warrior Dash... fun times with a fun team!

Being able to witness the birth of my nephew Harper!

Painting...

painting...

and more painting!

Mavs win the championship... superstition and all!

Finding out I have lymes disease along with other things that bring on...

lots of pills to take!

Resting in Florida with friends.

Ziplining in Costa Rica!

New York with the fam!

And lots of sweet babies born and adopted. Friends getting married. There were trips to visit friends and reunions to attend. Tragedies and sicknesses that plagued our staff family. Lots of verses exchanged over texts to remind us who to put our trust in. Forgiveness granted in friendships that were torn. Healing from the year before of so much loss.

2011 was an interesting year. Hard to really process all that came and went. 2012 is on its way... hopeful to grow deeper in loving God above all things, serving others, and sharing His truth without fear.

Great Team

2011-12-28T22:03:00.001-06:00

Great teams are made up of a lot of things...
-gifted people
-passionate people
-a balance of personalities
-people who carry their weight and aren't afraid to help you carry yours
-people you can laugh with
-share your heart with
-and cry with!
Oh and did I mention... play with!
I work with one of the greatest teams on the planet!

Want vs Need

2011-12-27T23:02:00.001-06:00

Most of the time in life we run after what we want, what we desire. And a lot of the time this gets us into trouble or distracts us from what is important. We talk about not just wanting things but getting what we really need. And sometimes, we don't even really know what we need.
And then I started thinking about my relationship with the Lord. I need Him. And I have to go to Him A LOT to get what I need. I was created for Him and therefore need what He has. But... do I want Him? Do I desire Him?
In relationships, we don't just want someone to come to us because they need things. We want them to want us, to desire to be with us. And why wouldn't that also be true with the Lord? Wouldn't it bring Him joy for us to come to Him because we desire Him? Because we want to be with Him, not just need something from Him?
This is not fully baked yet... but it sure has me thinking!!!

Nativity Scene

2011-12-11T22:21:00.001-06:00

Today I had the joy of hanging out with the 2ndSaturday.org crowd to build a nativity scene out of material taken from former drug houses in Dallas. Such a great idea. Taking something that formerly housed death and destruction and creating the picture of the "house" that first held the Savior of the world.

Here are some pics of the finished product...

Thanks gang for letting me be a part!
And if you are looking for a way to turn chaos into hope.... check this out...
it's a conspiracy!!!

Video Thursday: Cosby Outtakes Part 3

2011-10-27T09:00:00.000-05:00

Volume has to be way up...

Video Thursday: Cosby Outtakes Part 2

2011-10-20T09:00:00.001-05:00

Volume has to be up...

A 10 Year Letter

2011-10-13T15:46:00.002-05:00

I've been more than absent on the blog thing. For you few faithful readers, sorry about that. A combination of sickness and travel have lead to this falling to the bottom of the list. But I could no resist sharing this.

A friend of mine name Sarah is an amazing writer. She wrote a note to her husband, Paul, of 10 years and I wanted to share it. She writes what I watch them and many marriages around me live out.

So click here ... be encouraged and challenged!
(video is an advertisement and not related)

Hopefully sometime before Christmas I will get pics of up some of my travel adventures.

Video Thursday: Cosby Outtakes Part 1

2011-10-13T09:00:00.004-05:00

You have to turn your volume way up... and there are some commercials... but wait it out... stinkin' funny!!

Video Thursday: Stop It!

2011-10-06T09:00:00.001-05:00

This video brings me laughter every time I watch it! You have to watch all the way to the end!

Little Sucker Update!

2011-10-02T23:00:00.001-05:00

My lack of posting has not been a lack of things going on and definitely not a lack of things to say. But maybe a feeling I have too much to say and just not enough umph to say it all. So I will just update with what has happened in my health world and will leave all the other posts for another day.

Basically the update on the little sucker... I have Lyme Disease. The test came back positive, and when I asked the doctor if it could be anything else, I got this look, to which I replied, "you're pretty sure that's what it is aren't you?" And so... we started my treatment. I am now on 5 antibiotic pills a day. Can you say... holy cow! It has made me feel even more funky, which is not very fun. But I am in it for 30 days, hoping that it is going to wipe out all the funky stuff in my body. Lots of people have asked... "is it possible for it to completely go away?" And I actually have no idea. I did not ask a while lot of questions. I know I should have, just didn't.

I'm taking a crazy number of pills every day. Most are supplements that are hopefully doing great things for me. I am looking forward to this 30 days being over, and hopefully feeling a ton better and the best thing would be for the Lyme's to be gone. But for now, one step and a whole lot of pills at a time!

The Lord has been sustaining me in some pretty awesome ways through the truth of His word. One of my favorite this week...
"Let me hear of your unfailing love each morning, for I am trusting you. Show me where to walk, for I give myself to you." Psalm 143:8

Hopefully before October is over I will post about Costa Rica, New York, the President of Burundi, and saying "yes" to the Lord!

Video Thursday : The Evil Look

2011-09-29T09:00:00.000-05:00

Video Thursday : Pandas

2011-09-22T09:00:00.000-05:00

Video Thursday : Charlie Chuckles

2011-09-15T09:00:00.000-05:00

Oldie... but still funny when Charlie laughs!

Video Thursday : Tim Hawkins... Old Rock Stars

2011-09-08T09:00:00.001-05:00

Video(s) Thursday : We are the World

2011-09-01T10:21:00.004-05:00

This brought back some memories...

Then I found this one...

And then... this very cool video thank you from Haiti...

My heart breaks for the pain that continues to take place in both Africa and Haiti. Thankful to be a part of a body of believers that is a part of bringing hope and Truth to both!

The Little Sucker

2011-08-26T18:05:00.000-05:00

My health saga continues. Thankfully I am working with a Dr. who is willing to go the distance with me. He looked at all my precious blood work, my saliva test results and then ordered more blood. When I arrived at the hospital to have my blood drawn last Friday she pulled out 6 tubes. Can you say... craziness!!!
So this week I went back for those results. The results showed there is definitely something going on in my body. Some of my immune counts are low, indicating my body might be fighting something. That something is still unknown.

Then he said I for sure have some adrenal fatigue. Doesn't surprise me much since that is the place that deals with stress. And after last year... how can that little guy not be tired??!! So I'm taking some vitamins and such to help nourish him back to health. (Not sure why I decided my adrenal gland is a guy??)

He also said my iron count is still low and that for someone who is as healthy as I am, that doesn't make sense. So he gave me an iron shot... that too was interesting! I have not had a shot in my hiney as long as I can remember. I had to have 2... the first one was to find out if I am allergic to the shot they were going to give. Our conversation went something like this...
Nurse: "Let me know if you experience any changes in the next 15 minutes."
Me: "Ummm... like what?"
Nurse: "Temperature changes, itchiness, hives... anything like that!"
Me: "Ummm, ok!?!?!??!?!?!?!"
For the next 15 minutes I sat there wondering if I was itchy. Because of course I was since she said I might be! And this is the sign I saw as I waited...

But nothing really changed and so shot #2 given!

AND he wants me to take an antibiotic to see if it takes care of whatever is going on. He said I would be real sensitive to sun so would need to take precaution to stay out of the sun while on it. I quickly said... "I'm going to Costa Rica in a little over a week and 1/2! Could we maybe wait until after I get back?" I then promised him Costa Rica would for sure make me feel better. He said that was fine and I can wait!

Then he told me he wants to test my blood for Lyme disease. A couple things went through my head.
1) Meredith in my community group has Lyme disease and I've watched her the last year battle hard. When I talked to her on the phone I told her... "Mere, I love you. But I've watched the hell you've been through and I really don't want to follow in your footsteps."
And yet, if I do have it... what AMAZING provision of God to provide her to walk with me!
2) When I actually got the tick bite last June I was so overwhelmed with the joy of God's attention to details that weekend. And today, if I have Lyme disease, I will not now go back on that joy and believe in that attention to detail. (See original post here.)
3) We are back to the percentages thing again. The tick was on me for less than 2 hours and I did not end up with a rash at any point because of the bite. And so it seems like a small chance that I have the disease. BUT as I said before when I got a biopsy... if I am not supposed to have Lyme disease... there is 0% chance that little sucker (pun intended) gave me the disease. But if it is part of my story, then he could be on me for 2 seconds and I will have it.

I go back on Tuesday for the test. Then it will be 4 weeks before I know anything. A fun time to wait and keep my eyes on the Lord and trust that He is in control of all things. Not always easy, but always true.

Video Thursday : "Churros"

2011-08-25T10:04:00.000-05:00

Gotta be sure we get some laughs in here...

Let the Unwrapping Begin!

2011-08-20T10:13:00.000-05:00

This week something hit me. Each day is a new day... profound I know! But a new day for what? And this is what I realized...
A new day to learn and know more about God. A new day to love Him and be loved by Him. And a new day to make Him known!
And it got me really excited. I realize this is not necessarily new information or something that I haven't even thought, been told, or realized before. BUT it felt fresh and new this week. It felt really great to think about the newness of that. The freshness of a new day. Yesterday is gone! And today is a gift, waiting to be unwrapped!
I've also come to realize over these last couple of years the importance of starting that new day with the Lord. Of giving Him my first fruits. This is a little bit of a miracle for me because I am not a morning person. When I shared a bathroom with my friend Ang, she knew I don't really talk before 9am!
When I do get up and choose to give God the time and space He deserves... amazing things happen. I am filled up. My focus is set right. I am renewed in Him. And thoughts about how to head into the day are clear. It allows me to connect with my Savior, Creator, Lord, Best Friend, and Father! It reminds me of so many things. Whose I am. What the point of this life is. Who I am. Why I do what I do. Who I get what I need for the day from. Who He is.
And then the gift of the day is in perspective. And I remember where it came from and what it is for.
Then let the unwrapping begin!

The faithful love of the Lord never ends!
His mercies never cease.
Great is his faithfulness;
his mercies begin afresh each morning.
I say to myself, “The Lord is my inheritance;
therefore, I will hope in him!”
Lamentations 3:22-24

Video Thursday : Books of the Bible

2011-08-18T09:51:00.001-05:00

Be sure to listen all the way to the end for the little surprise!!

Witness OR Witness Protection?

2011-08-15T09:00:00.000-05:00

from John Belle on ToonPool

"But you are my witnesses, O Israel," says the Lord. Isaiah 43:10aa

So this week in Breaking Free, the last week actually, we are talking about being a planting for the Lord, displaying His glory. I will plan to do a post about that too, but this post rests on the VERY beginning on Isaiah 43:10. Here it says that we are His witnesses. And this got me to thinking about the idea of being a witness and what that means.

So I looked up the word on dictionary.com. Here is what it said...

verb (used with object)

to see, hear, or know by personal presence and perception:to witness an accident.

to be present at (an occurrence) as a formal witness,spectator, bystander, etc.: She witnessed our wedding.

to bear witness to; testify to; give or afford evidence of.

to attest by one's signature: He witnessed her will.

Now I got to thinking. Does my life really give witness to an active, living, loving God? Do people see, hear and know that God is real because they experience Him in my life? If I give testimony, is there any doubt that He is real? (And funny that I have never connected testimony in my head that way!) Do I attest to God, His sovereignty, His love, His righteousness by my words and actions?
Or am I acting like I am in the witness protection program. Hoping people don't notice me or who I am connected too? Am I afraid of what will happen? Who I will upset or disappoint?
And the answer to all of the above is SOMETIMES. And that's not my favorite answer. I want to be bold. I don't want to be like Peter who denied Christ because of fear. But oh I do so often relate to Peter!

And so my prayer is that I will love God more. That I will know Him deeper. That I will be more bold and courageous for Him and His truth. That I will bear great witness and that I will not seem as though I am in the witness protection program!
And I just realized... as a witness for Him... I am protected! Check out Isaiah 43:13!!!

A Broken Leg!

2011-08-14T14:49:00.000-05:00

My friend Ann, who I work on staff with, found out that she has kidney cancer. As I sat and listened to her share it with our staff, I was so encouraged and thankful for her hope in God and His care and sovereignty in her life. If you want to read more about her processing, check out her blog: http://annneelypiper.wordpress.com/2011/08/12/hope/
(Side note: Ann writes for a living and is really gifted at what she does. So it is a great read :)

So on to the reason I am telling you about this. You see, there were a few other things rolling through my head as she shared. As I have been fighting with all this health stuff I have consistently been saying a few things.
First... It is hard that what is wrong with me is not external that you can see. If I had a broken leg, I would have a cast, take some pain meds, ask for help, and those coming in contact with me would see exactly what was wrong.
Second... Not knowing is driving me crazy. As I said above... broken leg... what to do... CLEAR! But not knowing means just living through the symptoms of each day, a little bit in a fog AND no one can see what is wrong with me, so it is not apparent upon glancing that something is.
And so as I listened to Ann I thought... "Lord, I really do think if I found out I had cancer, I would be trusting You like that."
And you know what I heard back... "How about trust me like that even when you don't know what it is!"
OH... RIGHT!!!
I can glorify Him in the not knowing. I can trust that He is sovereign over all of it, even when I have no idea what is going on. (In fact, isn't that pretty much what is going on 99.999999% of the time??) I can be thankful even in the midst of the unknown.

So that's what I am trying to do. Lean in, and trust Him, even when I don't have answers.

A little info on my health stuff... I took a saliva test this past week. A crazy kit where I take my saliva at 4 different parts of the day, under some specific conditions. Then I mail it... thank you UPS. I have an appointment this Friday with my friend's Dad to talk through what all they found. Hoping for answers. Praying for answers. But trusting the Lord has much purpose in this part of the process too!

I waited patiently for the Lord to help me,and he turned to me and heard my cry. Isaiah 40:1

The animal pics were found on the website "animals with casts"! Who knew there was such a thing??
And this is just a bonus video I found while looking for the cast picture. The music is awesome!

Video Thursday : Amazing Grace

2011-08-11T09:48:00.000-05:00

Cupcakes...

2011-08-10T09:00:00.000-05:00

It's no secret that I LOVE cupcakes! I do not know what started this love. But I do... my absolute favorite is yellow cake with milk chocolate icing. And preferably homemade! Probably tied for 2nd are strawberry with strawberry icing and lemon with lemon icing. (Lemon should be punch you in the face tart.)
And no only do I love to eat them... pictures of fun cupcakes just plain make me happy!
So here are a few of my favorites!

These are from the website fun-cupcake-ideas.com ...

And then these are from all over the web...

These are from theberry.com...

From the momma momma blog...

And momlogic.com...

And Kara's Cupcakes blog...

And last and the greatest... from the fancyflours.com...

I mean who isn't smiling after all those happy things!!!

Book Review: Unbroken

2011-08-09T09:00:00.002-05:00

I had heard a ton about this book being so great and so I decided to read it. It is by Laura Hillenbrand who wrote Seabiscuit. It is a true story about a World War II POW.
I typically don't read these kind of books. I'm not a huge reader any way and so most of my reading is non-fiction books that spur me on in my walk with the Lord. When I read fiction they are typically Francine Rivers books or ones that are similar. And so I was not sure how I was going to like this book.
BUT... The preface had me hooked! I was drawn in and captured and never wanted to put the book down.
What these men went through is truly unbelievable. Being the skeptic I am, if I hadn't seen a picture of the real person alive today, I would have thought she embellished at least some of it. These men endured hell on earth. There is just no other way to describe it. And I just don't think I would have made it past the sharks!

The only thing I think I wrestle a little bit with is the title. I know I may be treading on some toes here. So maybe stop reading if you don't want to be ruffled. But, I don't think Louie was completely unbroken. For sure he was determined to stay alive and he fought, he fought hard, and he survived. But our goal in life is not to be unbroken. If anything it is to be broken of our self will, our self reliance. We are to grow more and more dependent on the One who has all that we need.

The sacrifice you desire is a broken spirit. You will not reject a broken and repentant heart, O God.
Psalm 51:17

I feel like I could go on and on about things I learned from reading it, but I don't want to give any of the book away. So I will refrain from making all the comments I want to on Louie and his brokenness vs unbrokenness.
SUFFICE IT TO SAY...
I think every person should read it. It makes you thankful for the men and women who sacrifice and sacrificed their lives so we can be free. It challenges you to think about what you believe and what keeps you from being broken. What could you survive through? And, are you willing to be broken so that you can be whole in the One who sacrificed His life so you could be saved?
GO GET YOU A COPY!

Wait For Your Bo"az"!

2011-08-08T09:00:00.000-05:00

Our Director of Young Adult Ministry sent this to me last week...

Made me LAUGH OUT LOUD!!!

For single ladies:

Quick Bible Lesson:

In the Bible, Ruth patiently waited for her mate Boaz.

While waiting on YOUR Boaz, don't settle for ANY of his relatives:

Brokeaz,

Poaz,

Lyinaz,

Cheatinaz,

Dumbaz,

Cheapaz,

Lockedupaz,

Goodfornothinaz,

Lazyaz or

Marriedaz!

And especially his third cousin Beatinyoaz.

Please wait on your Boaz!

Isn't that AWESOME! And I used the above picture from Google, because that's what Boaz made me think of!!

I Love You Too!

2011-08-07T17:52:00.000-05:00

This past week in Breaking Free Beth shared something that really struck me. She said one night as she looked at a sunset she was thinking and saying to the Lord, "I love you." And yet felt in her spirit the Lord saying... "You should be saying, 'I love you too!'" She then shared that God is always the initiator. It really struck me and I want it to stick with me.
I am so taken with His creation and ways that He wows me with all that He does. There isn't much more I like photographing than creation. And I always feel SO loved when I sit and watch a sunset or take in the mountains or watch the waves crash. And I had never thought of saying back, "I love you too." But I want to make a habit of it now.
I blogged in July that I went to Florida and would be posting some pictures that I took... here are ones that for sure make me say... "I love you too!"

What Are You Trusting In?

2011-08-05T15:43:00.002-05:00

"Then Israel will no longer be tempted to trust in Egypt for help."

Ezekiel 29:16

As I read Ezekiel 29:16, a couple of things struck me. First question I asked myself is what is my Egypt? What am I constantly looking to for help? or comfort? or satisfaction? Why am I so darn tempted to look to other things and not look to the Lord? The most logical answer.... "because God has let me down when I've asked for help." And yet interestingly that is not the case. Any time I choose to look to the Lord for strength, hope, joy, whatever I need... He always provides. I know some of it is that I don't always believe that He will help me, or maybe even believe that He cares. Which as I type that it makes me sound like such a fool, because He always helps and He can't not care. But often I try other things first. I call a friend before I look to God. I try on my own before I look to the Lord for help. I just quit and lose under the weight of, "this will never happen," long before I look to the God of the Universe who raises the dead to help me. Funny how thick my skull is and how much my habits get in the way.

Second it struck me how loving God was to move Egypt out of the way. To not allow Israel's attempts to trust Egypt to work. I love that nothing can satisfy like Him. I love that He is the ONLY ONE that can meet my needs for what He has put in front of me. I LOVE that He cares and wants me to trust Him and let Him walk with me, guide me, lead me. At first it seems arrogant and prideful that God would make this only work with Him. And yet, the more you learn about Him and learn of His character and know His love, you realize that it is the most loving thing He can do is turn us to Him. He is the best, most greatest answer. What a gift.

And so I'm praying that I will not look to anything other than Him. That my trust will be completely in my Savior and Lord. And then, as Romans 15:13 says... I will be filled with peace and joy! I'll take me some of that!

Video Thursday : The G.O.S.P.E.L.

2011-08-04T09:43:00.000-05:00

G.O.S.P.E.L. from Humble Beast Records on Vimeo.

man-made vs God!

2011-07-30T21:54:00.000-05:00

This past week I was reading Isaiah 46 where I was greatly reminded about the greatness of God over any man-made idol. Check out what I saw...

Bel and Nebo, the gods of Babylon, bow as they are lowered to the ground.
They are being hauled away on ox carts. The poor beasts stagger under the weight.

*"carrying" God around with you will never be heavy. You will not stagger under His weight. In fact He tells us that His burden is easy and light. Matthew 11:30!

Both the idols and their owners are bowed down.
The gods cannot protect the people, and the people cannot protect the gods.
They go off into captivity together.

*following God promises protection. He says over and over again in scripture that He will take care of you, you do not have to be afraid. Psalm 18:2! AND He promises freedom to those who trust in Him and allow Him to be their God. Galatians 5:1!

“Listen to me, descendants of Jacob, all you who remain in Israel.
I have cared for you since you were born.
Yes, I carried you before you were born.

*He knows everything about us, from when we were being formed in our mother's womb. Psalm 139! Idols know nothing about you!

I will be your God throughout your lifetime—until your hair is white with age.
I made you, and I will care for you.
I will carry you along and save you.

*Idols can do nothing to care for you. Deuteronomy 31:6!

“To whom will you compare me? Who is my equal?
Some people pour out their silver and gold and hire a craftsman to make a god from it.
Then they bow down and worship it!

*Idols we have to create ourselves, give them some kind of value and name in our lives. God is God without anything from us or anything we have ever done! He is eternal! The gold and silver will fade away, but God is never changing! Romans 1:20!

They carry it around on their shoulders, and when they set it down, it stays there.
It can’t even move!

*I just love this picture. You set the idol down and it can't move. You want it to go somewhere else, you have to pick it up and move it. But God... always there, everywhere!

And when someone prays to it, there is no answer.
It can’t rescue anyone from trouble.

*God hears us when we pray. Psalm 34:6!

Remember the things I have done in the past.
For I alone am God!
I am God, and there is none like me.

*And I love how the verses end. There is no one like God. And how great it is to remember all that He has done!

This psalm was such a good reminder for me to be aware of where I am tempted to put things before God. Nothing can compare to Him. And nothing is like Him. And so when I am looking to others or to things to take His place, to meet some need, to get help. I will be disappointed. And I need to make sure I am going to the source of all good, of love, of joy, of justice... FIRST for everything! So thankful that God is who He is!

(A little note: I am not saying that people can not meet needs that we have. I absolutely believe that God uses people in our lives. But they can not be put before Him!)

*picture from a google search

Video Thursday : My Few Moments of Fame

2011-07-28T09:35:00.000-05:00

How ya doin'?

2011-07-24T12:27:00.001-05:00

On July 3rd Todd Wagner, the pastor of my church, gave a message that stirs me, challenges me, and calls the church to be what God calls the church to be. It is worth your hour(ish)!!!

http://www.watermarkradio.com/index.php?id=153&channel=237&series=248&message=1

"While He died to make men holy, let us live to make men free..."

HOW YA DOIN'?

The Meltdown!

2011-07-23T16:40:00.000-05:00

This past week I got to go to Florida to stay with my good friend Tracey Beckwith, her daughter Hannah, and a few of Hannah's friends. It was a very relaxing week. I will post sunset photos later.

But first I wanted to put in one of my highlights...

We were informed of these amazing grilled cheese sandwiches in Seaside. So Tracey and I ventured over and ordered one. We ordered the smokin' turkey. It had pepper jack cheese, turkey, avocado, bacon, and this chipotle ranch on texas toast. Can you say... AMAZING!!!

They sell them out of an airstream and the name of the place is... The Meltdown on 30A. It's located on highway 30A. Their tshirts said... "I had a meltdown on 30A." Made me chuckle. I really wanted one but they did not have my size :(

Anyway... if you are ever there... you should try one... they are unbelievably good. And then just down from there is a place called Frost Bite. I got a Lemon Meringue Pie snow cone from there. Sorry no pic, I ate it too fast! But it too was YUMMY!

Video Thursday : Why Community?

2011-07-21T09:00:00.000-05:00

Such a great picture of why we need community and to be willing to get in the mess with people.
Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. 1 Peter 5:8

Making the Invisible... Visible!

2011-07-18T09:00:00.000-05:00

This website is called Invisible People: Homeless Has a Name .

This story was the first I heard...

And then found out that Carey even has a blog... It's called... Tale's From the Driver's Side.
Genius name since she lives out of her van with her 2 daughters.

And their is a Facebook page... We Are Visible.

I don't think I will say much more...

No Really... I Feel Crazy!

2011-07-15T09:00:00.003-05:00

I've been feeling crazy as of late! Now a few of you may say... what's new. And to this I say... TRUE TRUE... but I promise, I feel crazy because I don't feel my normal crazy!
Lots of things have been thrown around... I might be perimenopausal, which means I might be getting close to menopause, which then means I am getting closer to the reality I may not get to have my own kids. And yes this lead to some tears. But after one set of blood work two different doctors said they don't think that is where I am... but... we aren't done figuring it out.

And then this week...

I have been stuck with needles way more than I planned, I've peed in a cup and layed in a tube where I felt like I was in WWII with machine guns all around me. (translated MRI) (Checking on this little thing that we found in 2008, that may have been there since the day I was born and we are just making sure it has not grown and is not messing with me now!)
At the end of all of it I broke down into tears because I'm just tired. I want to know what is going on with me. I want to know what it is so I can process and deal and move on. I don't even know that I care what it is as much as I want to know so I can get on with it. But I realize I don't maybe totally mean that.
I'm not sleeping well, my memory is foggy, my thinking not always clear, I cry at weird things, I cry at very logical things, at times I'm perfectly happy with my life, at others I feel great fear of what might be forever. I have moments that I could just curl up on the 120 degree concrete and sleep and others I feel like I could go walk a marathon. All just so confusing and frustrating!
So here's the great news... I'm out... I'm off for the weekend hanging with my Aggie girls and then next week... headed to Florida to just chill on the beach with Tracey and Hannah. YAY! I think my brain, my body, and I know my veins need a break.
If you feel lead to pray... please pray that there will be ANSWERS!!!

Video Thursday : Just A Little Laughter

2011-07-14T09:00:00.002-05:00

Video Thursday : Jacob's Turn

2011-07-07T09:00:00.003-05:00

Love the part where Jacob's mom says... "... but I think he already knew that, I was just catchin' up!"

A New Favorite!!!

2011-07-04T09:00:00.002-05:00

I just wanted to be sure and share with all of you this amazingly great ice cream that I just discovered! It's called AmeriCone Dream by Ben & Jerry's! It is vanilla ice cream, caramel swirled in, and chocolate covered waffle cone. It is DELICIOUS!
And at Kroger on Northwest Highway and Plano Rd they have the little bitty ones for $1!
Ok, that is all... now go getcha some!

Fun Surprise!

2011-07-03T09:00:00.001-05:00

Fun surprise yesterday! I saw on Facebook that my cousin would be in Dallas painting a mural. I messaged her to find out where, what, and when. Found out that she was given one of the pillars in the Bark Park in Deep Ellum to paint. She is gifted. You can check out her website at originalyouth.com.

I thought I was just going to stop by and say hi for a few minutes, but ended up ditching my idea of going to the pool and sticking around and helping them paint. It was really fun and relaxing (at least as relaxing as you can be in 100 degree heat!)

Here are some pics of what it looks like. There are lots of painted pillars down there... go check it out.

LOVE LOVE LOVE the bones in the tree!

Here is Sarah!

Aren't they so cute :)

We also went for a late lunch to Serious Pizza. And it was a seriously large pizza... check it out!

It really ended up being a fun surprise in my day to get to just hang out with Sarah, her hubby and their friends. Thanks Sarah for letting me play with y'all!

Just For Today!

2011-07-02T10:58:00.000-05:00

I told a friend the other day... "I am tired of always be the one with the drama!" This came from her asking me if I was going to share where I am emotionally and physically with my team at work. I told her I wasn't sure, she asked why, I answered the above, and she responded... "make sure it isn't pride that keeps you from sharing!" It's a hard toss up. There is for sure pride wrapped up in not always wanting to be the needy one. Always having something to cry about or share. And then there is the fact that I am kinda over having the drama. I was thankful when another friend pointed out, "it's not like you are bringing the drama on yourself." But none-the-less, I am kinda over it. Over this feeling of things being so hard and heavy.
Which got me to thinking about this idea of having what we need for today. This past April, when my year from down below was coming to an end I thought back over the last year and was just a little overwhelmed. I remember thinking... "how did I survive that?" "I'm not sure I could make it through all of that again."
A friend reminded me that we don't have to try and survive a year at a time. God gives us exactly what we need for today and that we are to just take it one day at a time. I remember being so encouraged by a truth I have known for a long time but had just experienced in full force.
I don't have to try and survive this whole year today. I don't even have to take on this whole week today. I just need to trust Him for what I need TODAY and leave tomorrow to tomorrow.

Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and He will give you everything you need. “So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today.
Matthew 6:33-34

The faithful love of the Lord never ends! His mercies never cease.
Great is His faithfulness; His mercies begin afresh each morning.
Lamentations 3:22-23

What a gift. What a blessing. I am so glad that God set it up this way. When I trust Him with each day, and really with each moment in the day, He will give me what I need and He will bring Himself great glory.
I want my life to reflect the God of the Universe that loves us and is intimately acquainted with us and is involved personally.
Oh Lord... please glorify yourself through me TODAY!

This Week... BLAH!

2011-07-01T09:00:00.000-05:00

This week has been hard. I have not been sleeping well at all, which in turn has made me really sloshy in the brain, and also fairly emotional. I kinda think my hormones are all out of whack, which does not lead to very fun times! And not being very "with it" has created a hard time of "wanting to" spend time with the Lord. I am a huge journaler and love to spend time in the morning with Him. And mornings being tough has created a hard road. Now this also leads to me having a shorter fuse and not being very patient or fun to be around.
WOW... can you tell it's been a fun one?? So, I am very excited for a long weekend and plan to spend lots of time in the sun and lots of time just being. I think maybe my brain needs a mini vacation.
But I was reminded today of a few really good things. I am in the midst of doing Breaking Free for the 4th time. And this morning during the video session Beth was reminding us that our "want to" does not always match up with what is best for us. And so she said... "pray for God to heal your "want to!" I thought this was pretty brilliant. Because as I said earlier... my "want to" feels a little broken right now.
The other really great reminder was that God insists on a process because the end result is relationship. I loved this. Love that God knows that my relationship with Him really is what is best for me. And so, things in my life can do one of two things... push me away from Him or draw me deeper in. I am praying that this season of feeling a little "psycho" will draw me deeper into Him.
Thankful that in the midst of a BLAH! week... He can still teach me!

PS: I went to find a picture for this day and found out there is a Facebook fan page called...
I regularly get Mushy Brain Syndrome
The picture is from their facebook page.

Video Thursday : Daily Affirmations

2011-06-30T09:00:00.003-05:00

Just a little lesson on daily affirmations.

Two Great Reminders

2011-06-23T21:55:00.003-05:00

I haven't been sleeping very well lately. I wouldn't have told you that a week ago because I was getting close to 8 hours every night. But when I told my friend Melissa that I couldn't remember the last time I slept all the way through the night she was surprised. I wake up at least once every night and most of the time more than once. I don't usually stay awake, but still my REM patterns are probably getting messed up. (Is that what they are called?)
Mel helped me realize that not getting good sleep will start to take a toll on you. And I really do think it is taking one on me. I've been feeling kinda off in my head. Like all the synapses are not firing correctly. I"m wondering if it's because I'm eating less fried food and there's not enough grease up there to make the connections work? :)
I had lunch with a friend this week and she said her husband had been struggling with not sleeping through the night and his doctor told him to take Ambien 5 nights in a row to get his body back in the habit of sleeping all the way through the night. He did and it worked. Now, I don't do Ambien. I have had 2 different bouts with the stuff and it made me CRAZY so I knew that was not an option.
I came home and found my prescription of Lunesta and thought I would try that. I took it last night at about 10:30pm and went to bed and waited to get sleepy.
I was reading tweets and decided to send out a tweet. Here is what it said...

I took a sleeping pull ang nor I Judy hope it really helps me. I ness it Yo song.

I had to have someone else translate for me what I was trying to say...

SO... Two great reminders today...
1) I do not do well with sleeping pills... especially ones that say they slow your brain down!
2) ONLY Tweet while coherent!!!

Video Thursday : What Gifts Do You Have?

2011-06-23T09:00:00.001-05:00

"God made me blind and unable to walk... big deal... "

Painting With My Community Peeps

2011-06-18T09:00:00.001-05:00

My Community Group decided it would be fun to do a paint night together. We picked the Inwood Theatre pic. This experience was different from the last one, different instructor and different style. But definitely just as fun.

Here we are with our blank canvases...

First we drew the building in with a pencil.

Then painted the sky...

Added in the red...

The different shade of red...

Both of these colors were difficult to make. I wanted it to be more of a terra-cotta color... didn't quite accomplish that. And then the pink was more of a lavender.

Here is a great action shot :)

Trees are added as well as the yellow, blue, and white...

And then we outlined the whole pic in black. That was not as easy as it looks.

And the whole group with our finished products.

This whole painting deal is fun. A little pricey to get to do very often AND I am not sure the perfectionist side of me can handle it. Right now both of my paintings are just sitting in my room and I end up picking apart all the things I would do differently.
But a fun night with my peeps for sure!

Mavs and Superstition

2011-06-17T09:00:00.001-05:00

Most of the world knows by now that the Dallas Mavericks are the 2011 NBA Champions! I do not love basketball, but I like basketball. Most of the time I feel like the players are rich punks who just want more money and kind of whine a lot. But sometimes you find a group of guys who are more old school and seem to play for the love of the game. Now, I do not know the guys on this championship team personally so I can't say for sure, but a lot of them seem to be fairly humble, hard-working guys.

There has been a lot said about the match-up of the Mavs vs Heat. David vs Goliath. Good vs Evil. But really my favorite was said after the game when they talked about the title not being won by superstars but by a TEAM. I loved that.

OK, enough about my opinions and thoughts. What I was mainly going to share was my playoff experience. You see... I did not watch very many of the games. In fact I only actually witnessed 2 full games all year. When the playoffs started I confess I kinda thought the Mavs would end up like they have the last few years and they would lose the first round. Clearly proved me, and a bunch of others wrong. Then I watched one game during the 2nd round of the playoffs and they lost. So I vowed to go back to being in my bed when they played and it worked... they won every game in that series. So here come the finals and I don't know what to do. So first game I don't watch, but I'm not in my bed and they lost. 2nd game, I'm in my bed, they win. 3rd game... people are giving me a hard time so I'm not in my bed, they lost. 4th and 5th game... in my bed... they win. So the dilemma of Game 6! Do I watch? Do I not? I had been getting comments all along from people thanking me for being in bed and playing my part on the team. So I posted the question on Facebook and here are the responses I got...

Suzanne Sanderson
Delimna... I should watch the game or should go to bed? #mavs

Gave me great laughter. So my friend Robbi and I talked about what I was going to do. I told her I had to be close to my bed in case it started going south. So we started watching at my house with my roommate Charla. As we are in the middle of the 3rd quarter I started to get nervous and think I should go get in my bed. They were like... "come on, stay in here, you don't want to miss this." So I said, only if we move my bed in here will I stay. So at the end of the 3rd quarter... WE DID!

Victory was ours! 100% of the time I was "in my bed" in the 4th quarter... we won!

Now you might be asking... do I really think I had anything to do with the win.

My response... "probably not!"

Video Thursday : What's Most Important?

2011-06-16T09:00:00.001-05:00

This video is such a great reminder that winning is not everything...

My Food Stamp Challenge

2011-06-14T19:18:00.001-05:00

June is Hunger Awareness Month and I am taking part in a mini version of the Food Stamp Challenge. The full challenge is to eat as healthy as possible on $3.70 a day for all 3 meals per person in your family. I know it would be really hard for me to do all 3 meals for a week and so I decided to do one meal a day for 7 days.

I went to WalMart on Saturday to get the items for my daily meal. Walking through the store thinking about what I was going to get was interesting. I had to really think about what I could make last for 7 days and I tried to get as healthy as possible. Now... I did not get the healthiest our there, but I did make some different choices than I normally would have.

Here is what I got...
Loaf of Whole Grain Wheat Bread : 2.48
Whole Grain Pringles: 1.50
Bag of Baby Carrots : 1.38
Crunchy Peanut Butter : 1.88
I already had jelly at home so I factored that in to my list as well.
And I always drink water and from the tap it is "basically free."

Here is what I have learned so far...
1) I don't ever think about rationing what I have. As I have had to stick to just these things for the meal it has really taken thought to make sure that it all lasts for 7 days. So with the pringles and carrots I have had to count them out. Typically I just dump as much as I think I want on my plate and off I go.
2) It takes planning and forethought to make sure that I am prepared for my meal. The other day I was eating this for lunch. So I got it all packed up in the morning and then I headed out. I did not get to the office until after 1:00pm. So I had to take my lunch bag in with me everywhere I went because it could not stay in the car. In this crazy heat it would have gotten NASTY! And then tonight as I was heading home, I would have preferred to just stop in and grab something somewhere, but knew I needed to come home and have my sandwich.
3) I like variety. I think I am going to be tired of this meal by the end of the week. I don't usually eat the same thing twice in a handful of days if I can help it. And WOW, that is such a luxury.
4) I do spend a lot of money on food. I typically eat out as most of the time I am meeting people or on my way somewhere. And I am just not a big fan of cooking and I do think it is hard to cook for one person because you do end up with a TON of leftovers. It is a good reminder of the blessing of where I am in life, but also to not take that for granted.
5) I always have enough food. So far with this meal I have found myself somewhat hungry quicker than usual. I think I typically eat more than what I am eating in this meal. I also typically eat as much as I want and for sure until I am full. And it has been such a great reminder when I am hungry to remember and pray for those who are dealing with this on a daily basis.

I know I did not do the food stamp challenge to the fullest, but I am really thankful for what it is teaching me and this experience so far. I know for me it is even a luxury to get to choose to do this for 7 meals. Most struggling with hunger do not choose it at all.

God's Glory Displayed

2011-06-11T14:44:00.001-05:00

I've started the study Breaking Free by Beth Moore. It's the 4th time I will do this study and each time I love it more. It is such a great process of asking... what is keeping me from living the abundant life God has planned for me? And today, another question arose.

Today's lesson was on God's glory.
Isaiah 43:7 says...
everyone who is called by My name,
whom I created for My glory,
whom I formed and made.

We were made for God's glory. To show others who He is. To make Him known.
Here are a couple of things I underlined today in the study...

"A life that glorifies God is a life that reveals God."

"We glorify God to the degree that we externalize the internal presence of the living Christ."

"We are created for the purpose of giving God's invisible character a glimpse of visibility."

Seriously! It kinda took my breath away. For the 4th time, and yet it kinda feels like I just read all of this today for the 1st time.

And then this verse...
The heavens proclaim the glory of God.
The skies display his craftsmanship.
Psalm 19:1

And I thought back to all the amazing things I have seen in the sky. All the sunsets and the lighting storms and the rainbows and the rain clouds. And I thought... wait... if the sky is used to proclaim His glory AND He made us to proclaim His glory, that means that my life can be just as amazing as anything I have ever seen in the sky!

That kinds blows my mind!

And this statement in the workbook...

"IF WE GRASPED THE ETERNAL IMPLICATIONS OF SUCH A DESTINY WE WOULD WANT TO DO ANYTHING POSSIBLE TO MAKE SURE ALL HINDRANCES WERE REMOVED."

AMEN! So I'm praying that God will show me anything that is standing in the way of Him being most glorified in my life. Will you pray with me?

And a little side note... going back and finding these pics brought deep thankfulness for the way the Lord has blessed me with opportunity to see His creativity displayed!

You Have Me!

2011-06-11T10:42:00.000-05:00

I think maybe I am late to this party... but I just heard a few songs by Gungor.
And this one really spoke to me. Such a great reminder of God always "having" us. I encourage you to listen.

Can't Get Enough!

2011-06-06T09:00:00.001-05:00

Ok. I know... another trip to the arboretum... and more photos that I want to share!

As we walked up on this scene I was just blown away by the color and truthfully the peacefulness. If it had not already been 90 degrees at 10am I might have sat on that bench for awhile!

Then... this... flower...! Can you say... AWESOME! I have never seen one like this before. It was growing right up out of the water and the center part looked like foam with sequence on it. Not even real. But I'm pretty sure it was legit. Nope, I was good and did not touch it to find out!

This is my favorite picture of Harper from the day. That is his Gran and his GreatGran! PRECIOUS!!!

And a little fun in the castle.

And with his Aunt Suz!

And a little "I Love You", shout out!

I'm think my little nieces and nephews are gonna have to get use to the torture!

Bridge The Gap

2011-06-05T09:00:00.001-05:00

Believing. Belief in something as true enough to put yourself fully into it. Not just saying... oh that's true... but trusting it. Believing is something that I think lies at the root of much of our struggle to be and stay connected to God. Not in a salvation saved kind of way, but in a relationship trust kind of way.
I am working my way through the book You Can Change by Tim Chester. I was walking through the Watermark Coffee Shop one day and saw a friend with it and I asked about it. And another staff remember piped in and said... one of the best all time books on change. Ummmm... how do I not know about this?
And so he gave me a copy and I have been reading it slowly. It is one that I think I will have to go back and read again after I get through it once.
There are many quotable statements in the book, like...
""The law isn't meant to be the starting point for change. It's meant to bring us to the end of ourselves and so drive us into the arms of Jesus."
OR
"When you feel the desire to prove yourself, remember your're right with God in Christ."
Powerful right?
I'm now in chapter 5 and it's talking about truth. What truths do we need to be putting in place of lies? I LOVE THIS. It is one of my all time favorite things to talk with women about. When our behavior isn't matching up with who we are or what we say we believe, I love to talk about the lies that are being believed and discuss the truth that needs to take its place!
And so in the book this quote got circled and starred...
"The problems lie in the gap between what we believe in theory and what we believe in practice."
OK... I'm gonna type it again...
"The problems lie in the gap between what we believe in theory and what we believe in practice."
How totally true is that??? When I look at my actions in light of what I say I say I believe, or even what I believe but somehow it is not changing my actions, there is a GAP! And I want those gaps to change. I want to stop looking to others for approval when I know the only audience that really matters is God. I want to stop comparing myself to others when I know that each of us is unique and wholly loved by God. I want to stop thinking something is wrong with me and that's why I'm not married, when I know that God has a plan for me and my relationship status does not define me.
I want to practice what I know and live what I believe.

Right Where I Need to Be!

2011-06-04T11:18:00.000-05:00

I've been having lots of questions over the past couple of months about where I am in life... things like...
Am I making a difference? Am I doing what I should be doing (vocation wise)? Am I where God wants me to be? Do I need to make some radical change? Could I do this for 30 more years?
A friend told me that she has an identity crisis about every 3 years. And if that is true for me... 1) This is about the right time and 2) REALLY? Every 3 years?!! Another friend told me that he had some major questioning at 37. Realizing he wasn't a "kid" anymore and that 40 was getting pretty close. I'm 37 about to be 38, so that makes some sense too.
For as long as I can remember God has always been really clear with me... stay here, move here, do this, don't do this. I have always been soooo thankful that He has been clear with me. But right now, it doesn't feel like He is being so clear. So... 1) He might be dealing differently with me than He has before (I'm not sure how pumped I would be about this!) 2) Maybe it's not time for me to know. 3) Maybe there is just nothing to say!
And so I have asked a lot of questions, processed out loud a lot (aren't you all surprised), and journaled and prayed a ton.
Here are a couple of things I have come to...
1) Probably not a great idea to make some major like shift when I have only been a couple of weeks in the sunshine. Out of the cloud of lasts years storm.
2) God is not in the business of being tricky or trying to frustrate me.
3) God's timing is different than mine... almost always.
4) How God leads me and what He chooses to do with where He leads me is often different than I expect.
The first 2 are pretty self explanatory, but I want to expound on 3 and 4.
So for #3... God's timing is different than mine. One of my friends suggested I look back at David's life. God told David he was going to be king. But David went back to being a shepherd and then served in Saul's house and was nearly killed before he ever took the throne. Now, God has not told me I am going to be king. But, I do sometimes feel like there is something coming and maybe a change eventually, but I tend to start assuming it is going to be now or tomorrow instead of being faithful where I am today.
And then with #4. The same friend who suggested David also said to take a look at Joseph's life. Joseph's life was far from predictable and so much of where he ended up, he could not have made up. He chose to be faithful where he was and allow God to be the one that moved him each step of the way.
And that got me to looking at a few times in my life when God has moved me to do things or ignited passions in my heart that did not lead to exactly what I assumed. First it was leaving teaching to go and get my masters degree in counseling. I thought for sure this was going to lead to me getting my license and going into private practice. Never could I have dreamed it would mean going onto Watermark staff.
Then there was this passion for orphans that He stirred up in me 5 years ago. It was intense and I was pretty convinced I would end up moving to Africa to work with them. Instead He has used it to be a part of launching our sponsorship program in Uganda and now getting to work on a team that will bring camp to our sponsored kids.
Lots and lots going on in my head these days. No major answers, but lots of peace as I continue to trust and believe that God is all about me leaning into Him and just listening. He will let me know what He wants and I trust that today... I am right where I need to be!

Creativity in the Sky

2011-06-01T09:00:00.001-05:00

Check out how extremely creative and awesome the sky was this past week during one of the storms.

Love when God shows off!

Proverbs 10:24-25
The fears of the wicked will be fulfilled; the hopes of the godly will be granted.
When the storms of life come, the wicked are whirled away, but the godly have a lasting foundation.

Book Finished... One Thousand Gifts

2011-05-31T09:00:00.000-05:00

I finished reading One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp. It is a book I would highly recommend. I struggled some with the way that she writes, not sure my brain functions quite like hers. But she has a great sense of perspective and is very deep in her thoughts. Here are some of the thoughts from her book that got me some good thinkin'!

"Life is brief and it is fleeting but it is not an emergency." -p73

"How to lay the hand open for this moment's bread - when it will hurt." -p80

"I pay tribute to God by paying attention." -p111

"Worry is the facade of taking action when prayer really is. And stressed, this pitched word that punctuates every conversation, is it really my attempt to prove how indispensable I am? Or is it more? Maybe disguising my deep fears as stress seems braver somehow." -p143

"Are stress and worry evidences of a soul too lazy, too undisciplined, to keep gaze fixed on God? To stay in love?... Isn't joy worth the effort of trust?" -p147

"Much of the worry in my own life has been a failure to believe...a wariness to thank and trust the love hand of God." -p149

(I could put a ton more quotes from Chapter 8, I think it was my favorite!)

"God needs knees more than hands." -p168

"True lament is the bold faith that trusts Perfect Love enough to feel and cry authentic." -p176

"A life contemplating the blessings of Christ becomes a life acting the love of Christ." -p184

"It's impossible to give thanks and simultaneously feel fear." -p203

"Will I remember this, not wanting to spend an hour's absence from Him?" -p219

And this is where my heart has stopped to ponder. I want to remember, I want to stay connected. I want to go deeper and to do that... I must give Him space. I must make habits of going to Him with all things. I must run to Him first. I must talk with Him, share openly and honestly with Him. I must trust Him, believe Him. I am trying to practice being thankful in all things. Of recognizing what He has put in each day for me to see. I'm also trying to be more active in going to Him, not just in the morning or when I feel helpless, but knowing I need Him in all things. It's gonna take time, and practice, but I know it will be worth it.

What is the last book you read and what did you like about it?

The Main Thing

2011-05-30T09:00:00.000-05:00

1 John 2:15
Do not love this world nor the things it offers you, for when you love the world, you do not have the love of the Father in you.

This verse got me to thinking... what things does this world offer me? And I just started writing...
quick fixes, drugs to not feel, distractions from reality, obsessions to keep me from time with God, hobbies to fill my days, activities to distract, worries that make me want to grab for control, drugs not to feel, help to get what I want, answers for dreams that have not been fulfilled...
I knew that I could keep going but most of those were enough to stop me in my tracks. To make me really think! Am I allowing this world to suck me and distract me from why I am really here?
When I think about the question, "Why am I here?" It isn't hard to get lots of answers flying around... to love others, to be successful, to make a name, to do something that counts, to make a difference, to get a lot of money, to be married, to be happy, to procreate, to not do anything stupid. So many options for the answer. And yet at the end of the day... for me... it's to know God and to make Him known. And yet, I get distracted by all the enticing things of this world. And not that all of the things of this world are bad or wrong, but if they get in the way of why I'm really here, I'm missing my purpose.
And I don't want to miss the most important things. I don't want to miss the chance to bring God glory and to know Him as deeply as I can.
What of this world entices you away from the main thing?

Painting of a Rainy Night

2011-05-29T09:00:00.000-05:00

This past week I got to have a really fun night with my friend Leigh. We went to a place called Painting With a Twist. Everyone in the place paints the same thing as they walk you from blank canvas to finished product. We started off with a plate of paints, 3 brushes and a blank canvas.

The first thing we were told to do was to put a dot on the canvas and then draw the lines that would create the street, side walks, buildings and sky.

Below you can see Leigh's sky and the lines that create each part. And my very intense face as I paint my sky.

The lady behind me is the instructor. Secretly inside I wanted her to comment on mine. But she never did.

We got so consumed in our painting that we missed some of the other stages... but here are both of our canvases with main buildings, street and sky. The sidewalk and street are to look like it has been raining.

Then we painted on the skyline. This was hard for me. In the end I was pretty pleased with them. Leigh's skyline follows mine.

Then we added in the street lights. And if you look close you can see our choices of treats while we painted!

This is the night that it was major rain, hail and tornado warnings. We had to all gather in the back room at one point because there was a tornado at Love Field. Very fitting that our picture was rainy :)

And the finished products. It was a very fun night. It was also fin to see all the different perspectives around the room.

Here's mine up close. It has been sitting on my couch this week and I keep finding things really wrong with it. I just don't let things go very easily! But a VERY FUN night and I am glad I got the chance to go.

Thanks Nat!

Hold You!

2011-05-28T11:07:00.001-05:00

I was thinking this week about God being Father and what a comfort it is to know that the God of the Universe is who I can run to. That He is always there and that we can call Him Abba. And while at staff prayer we were singing and I went to raise my hands and thought about kids when they hold up there hands and say... "hold you!" And was drawn into the fact that we can call out to God at any time and say... "hold you" and He is right there to lift us up. What an amazing comforting gift!
Have you run to Him lately and let Him HOLD YOU?

Romans 8: 14-16
For all who are led by the Spirit of God are children of God. So you have not received a spirit that makes you fearful slaves. Instead, you received God’s Spirit when he adopted you as his own children. Now we call him, “Abba, Father.” For his Spirit joins with our spirit to affirm that we are God’s children.

"Wasted Time?"

2011-05-22T18:29:00.000-05:00

(This is what the pic at the top of my blog started out as!)

I love making things... but I also love things to be perfect, at least in my opinion! At times this is great. When I want to make sure things are lined up, spacing is right, or colors match. Other times, this can lead to lots and lots of hours wasted trying to create something that is exactly what I want. Now I realize that creating something takes time. Just about everything we see that was created by someone took way more hours than we could guess. And sometimes all those hours create something even greater than was originally sought after.

So why am I writing about this? It's about the internal struggle that takes place for me. You see... when I go to create something I am not always sure when to just stop and let it be. I want to keep going and going until I am happy with what I have. And yet, there are times that I look up and lots of time has ticked off the clock and I feel guilty. I feel like it has been wasted time. And then I wonder why I chose to spend all that time on one project. The hard balance in that for me is that I LOVE doing creative things. I love getting lost in the creation and just going and going and seeing where I end up. Take for instance my blog design. I like changing it, I like playing with the pictures, I like thinking about all the different options... AND THERE ARE A LOT OF OPTIONS! In the end, it was fun. But am I OK if I am the only one that sees it and the only one that cares. (Now I realize I just set myself up for insecurity because many of you may look at the blog and wonder what I was thinking anyway! But that is beside the point I am making here.) And the truth is, I'm sometimes OK when I spend time just playing and creating. And other times I think there are probably more productive things I could have been doing.

What are the answers? I don't know. I know there is a balance in here somewhere of not always having to be extremely productive on things that matter and of being sure that I am not wasting my life on things that don't matter. So... wasted time? Sometimes! But not ALWAYS!!

What do you like to "waste time" doing?

The Miracle of Life

2011-05-14T14:09:00.000-05:00

Angela and I have been friends for the last 8 years. She is like a sister to me and pretty much everywhere we go people assume we are and are shocked when we tell them we aren't related by blood.
Ang and I have been through a LOT of things together... some really hard stuff and mostly amazing joy & fun filled memories. We worked side by side for many years, lived together, vacationed together, and were in community together! So when she found out she was pregnant and made a comment about me being in the room with her... I of course said YES!!!
So on April 20th at 8am I headed to the hospital with Ang's parents, Mom and Dad C to me. I thought we would be in for a really long day of waiting around, entertaining each other and we wouldn't get to meet the "unknown sex" little one until way later. But... Ang received pitocin at 7am, had her water broken, received an epidural, labored down for 30 minutes, pushed for 20 and had a baby boy at 1:15pm... can you say FAST!
So on the same day I found out that the calcification was benign, I got the wonderful privilege of watching my little nephew being brought into this world. I had my camera with me and asked Ang and Zac what all they wanted me to take pictures of and they said... whatever, we can always delete. So I took a FEW pics in the very short time of delivery. Keeping them all G rated... here is Harper Samuel Ladd's birthday!

The Mommy and Daddy waiting to meet their little one.

Zac in amazement at his little boy!

Harper hanging out with the doctor getting all checked out.

The delivery team!

Uncle "Thunder" Matt and Grandma Peggy "Maggie"!

Grandpa C holding his first grandson!

I just like this pic!

And here are a few more after his birthday...

Ok so maybe we played a little dress up!

It was such a privilege for me to get to be there to see life entering into the world. And for the gift of getting a small understanding of something I might not ever get to do. For sure it brought mixed emotions... but mostly... Amazement and joy for the miracle life really is!

Thanks Ang and Zac for letting me be a part of Harper's birthday!

Percentages

2011-05-14T12:06:00.000-05:00

About a month ago I went in for my yearly mammogram. My mom had breast cancer and so my doctors started me on my yearly "check-ups" about 4 years ago. This year again they found a spot they were concerned about. So I had to go back for a follow-up. Mammograms are not comfortable, nor would I choose them often, but they are not as awful as some comics have described (at least for me.)

Any way... I digress :)

After my follow-up they determined that they needed to do a biopsy to determine if the mass they were seeing was cancer or not. As I processed going through this procedure again, and knowing that there was a chance it was cancer, I came to an interesting truth. When the doctor was telling me what she had seen and why she needed to go in to check on it, she told me that 15% of the time calcifications are caused by cancer cells. I started pondering this percentage and realized something. If cancer is part of my story... then there is a 100% chance this calcification is cancer. If cancer is not part of my story... then there's a 0% chance it is. It all came back to trusting God with the story He has written for my life. So often I want to get caught up in fear, what-ifs and really start worrying before I even know what the story is. And so, as I went in for the biopsy, I was at peace, knowing that God was in control and sovereign over any result I would receive.

The doctor had warned me when she told me she wanted to do the biopsy that there was a very SMALL percentage chance that she would be able to get to it. The mass is located way back by my rib cage and she just wasn't sure. The day before the biopsy I sent out a prayer request asking people to pray for three things... 1) that I would trust God no matter which side of the percentages the results fell on 2) that the needle biopsy would work 3) that God would be glorified in the process!

The day of the procedure I walked into the room and the technician was anything but encouraging. She told me that it was very unlikely that they would be able to get to the mass because of where it is located. Everything in their demeanor told me that this was probably going to be painful, long and futile! I even asked, "If this is so unlikely to work, why am I going to pay so much money for it. Should we just go another route?" To which she explained, if it doesn't work, you don't pay. And I was slightly comforted!

After the 2nd attempt (I'll save you all the crazy details) to get a picture that would tell them exactly where it was ... they told me to hold still because they had gotten everything in the right place for the procedure. And you could hear the shock in their voices. I was able to tell them that lots of people were praying that they would be able to get what they needed. So thankful that once again... God was not bound by percentages.

The next day I received a call that the mass was benign.

We Are NOT Alone!

2011-04-23T09:49:00.001-05:00

Have you ever felt alone? Like God had forgotten about you? Like He was missing what was going on around you or TO you? Like He was far away? Maybe even abandoned or forgotten?
This morning I was reading in Psalm 22 and was caught by how much the text sounded like words that Christ spoke during His crucifixion.

David... Psalm 22:1...
My God, my God, why have you abandoned me?
Why are you so far away when I groan for help?

Christ... Mark 15:34...
Then at three o’clock Jesus called out with a loud voice, “Eloi, Eloi, lema sabachthani?” which means “My God, my God, why have you abandoned me?”

Yet it appears as though David is feeling these same feelings in Psalm 22. So I decided to jump onto soniclight.com to check out Dr. Constable's notes on Psalm 22. I loved this quote from James May in regard to the correlation of the two verses...

'He (Jesus) joins the multitudinous company of the afflicted and becomes one with them in their suffering.'

I just love this. Jesus "quotes" David and this picture of Him saying... I know, I get it, I am feeling the things that you feel and will feel, people of this world.

What a sweet and precious picture and gift. Our Savior, the one that died in our place, paid our penalty, chose death to redeem us... He gets us, He understand us... We are NOT alone.
I need this reminder a lot of times. When I am in the midst of questions of why, or when will this end, or do I really have to walk this road... I am comforted by this truth in Hebrews 4:14-16...

So then, since we have a great High Priest who has entered heaven, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to what we believe. This High Priest of ours understands our weaknesses, for he faced all of the same testings we do, yet he did not sin. So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most.

And I was also reminded that the disciples, on "this weekend" that we celebrate this gift of having a High Priest that knows, they were in the midst of grief this day. Wondering what happened to the one they loved and followed. Believing that it was all over. Believing they had been abandoned and forgotten.
I pray that when we feel like... David, Jesus and the disciples... like it's all over, like it's TOO MUCH, that we will trust Him to give us mercy and grace to endure so that He will be glorified. That we will say.... "Not my will but yours be done!" (Luke 22:42)

Warrior Dash 2011 COMPLETE... with a small confession...

2011-04-22T12:36:00.001-05:00

Remember when I told y'all that I had given into "peep pressure" and signed up for the Warrior Dash?
Well the day arrived last Saturday to torture myself and know there was a great possibility I might not come out alive. Ok, maybe that is a little over exaggerating, but I was nervous.
17 of us sign up to participate and we lost 4 to varying things so 13 of us end up dashing!
Here is the play by play...

Our crew all geared up and ready to go... it was pretty cool when we all got there,

but turned out to be the perfect sunny cool weather!

Rode bus to race site and picked up our packets... Robbi and I are getting excited!!!

Putting on our numbers...

Another warrior pose before we start...

Jordan, Penick, and Robbi dancin' in line... too much energy...

So Robbi shared some of her energy with Paula...

And of course we do some stretching!!!

First up... walk through a muddy river... a little CHILLY...

Then over some cars...

And through some tires...

Then over and under...

Climb up a wall...

Walk a balance beam bridge...

Get tangled in a spider web...

Under a really low tent area... knees a little scraped up...

Over a cargo net bride...

Up and over some hay bails...

Up a cargo net...

Through a muddy river... beware of losing your shoes...

Over some logs...

Run through fire...

See Watermark peeps... and get the crowd fired up..

Crawl under barbed wire and through the mud pit...

Muddy Warrior Pose...

Mom and Dad came to support and take pictures... but wouldn't hug me at the end :)

And then off for a GREAT post-race meal at Babe's! Can you say fried chicken and mashed potatoes!!!

Love doing this race with peeps I work with and our "extended family".

And for my small confession... when we hit the hay bails and I new we were almost done...

I was...

SAD IT WAS OVER!!!

It was such a blast. So fun. So thankful for the faster. stronger ones that were willing to hang back and experience it as a team. No one had to drag me or carry me!

And maybe just maybe... Warrior Dash 2012 is already on the calendar!!!

Like An Eagle...

2011-04-09T18:40:00.002-05:00

Live Video streaming by Ustream
I found out about this live cam of an eagle's nest in Iowa. It is has been so cool to watch. The pair now have 3 little ones. If you watch for very long you get to see how attentive the parents are to their little ones. It actually has surprised me how much they are aware of what their little ones are doing. They have built the nest up around them more and more as they have grown. (Good thing because that nest is 80 feet off the ground!)
I thought I remembered a verse in scripture that talked about God caring for His people the way an eagle cares for their young and I found it.

Deuteronomy 32:9-14
“For the people of Israel belong to the Lord;
Jacob is his special possession.
He found them in a desert land,
in an empty, howling wasteland.
He surrounded them and watched over them;
he guarded them as he would guard his own eyes.
Like an eagle that rouses her chicks
and hovers over her young,
so he spread his wings to take them up
and carried them safely on his pinions.
The Lord alone guided them;
they followed no foreign gods.
He let them ride over the highlands
and feast on the crops of the fields.
He nourished them with honey from the rock
and olive oil from the stony ground.
He fed them yogurt from the herd
and milk from the flock,
together with the fat of lambs.
He gave them choice rams from Bashan, and goats,
together with the choicest wheat.
You drank the finest wine,
made from the juice of grapes.

Reminds me to look around and be thankful for all the ways the Lord is hemming me in, protecting me, nourishing me, and providing for me!

Give Thanks to the Lord...

2011-04-09T12:47:00.000-05:00

Today is one really long date with God. Part of it is reading through the book, One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp. One year ago this week started this chain of loss and change which has lead to lots of grief and struggle.
This morning already the book has challenged me in what I am doing in the midst of the hard to be thankful. Am I willing to be thankful for EVERYTHING that God gives, including what He chooses to take away? And so I am wrestling and was challenged as I got to Psalm 136 to write my own Psalm of Praise to the Lord, thanking Him for ALL things and remembering...

Psalm 136... changed up for where I am today!

Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good!
His faithful love endures forever.
Give thanks to God who is greater than any thing.
His faithful love endures forever.
Give thanks to the Lord who is worthy of all our praise.
His faithful love endures forever.

Give thanks to Him who alone can save.
His faithful love endures forever.
Give thanks to Him who made the mountains, oceans and trees...
His faithful love endures forever.
And flowers and creatures and the breeze.
His faithful love endures forever.
Give thanks to Him who made the stars...
His faithful love endures forever.
And the sun to shine to remind us of whose we are.
His faithful love endures forever.

Give thanks to Him who saved me from eternal death.
His faithful love endures forever.
He brought me to Himself to rest.
His faithful love endures forever.
He's changed my heart of stone to flesh.
His faithful love endures forever.
And showed me my need of His unfailing love.
His faithful love endures forever.

He's given me community to sharpen and to guide.
His faithful love endures forever.
And He's shown me that I can never hide.
His faithful love endures forever.
Give thanks to Him for always providing for my needs.
His faithful love endures forever.
And showing me it's about relationship not things.
His faithful love endures forever.

He has carried me through many a loss,
His faithful love endures forever.
And reminded me it's for His Glory, the cost.
His faithful love endures forever.
He's called me to thanksgiving,
His faithful love endures forever.
remembering, and praise.
His faithful love endures forever.
And that He can handle the "why questions" I raise!
His faithful love endures forever.

By myself I can not make it,
His faithful love endures forever.
But He promises me He is enough.
His faithful love endures forever.
Even when it seems crazy,
His faithful love endures forever.
I will stop and say, "not my will but yours be done!"
His faithful love endures forever.

Chameleons and Eggs

2011-04-07T22:42:00.001-05:00

Have you ever taken a personality test? You know, the ones that tell you if you are a red left brained golden retriever that leans towards depression! I'm not a real big fan of the tests for a couple of reasons.
First, I always find myself trying to figure out what all the questions really mean and what they are trying to push me towards. Some of this is just how my brain functions and then some of it is because I have struggled with how I am wired. So if I fool the test I can be someone else :)
Second, I often find myself in this weird middle ground on these tests. This weird balance of left brain right brain or towards the middle on introvert and extrovert. Or when I take the test a second time I have changed and then I wonder which one I really am!
Like in the movie Runaway Bride... There is a part in the movie where she realizes that she doesn't know what kind of eggs she likes. She just always likes the kind of eggs of the guy she is dating. There have been times where I find myself being a chameleon and just fitting into what works best in the moment. At times I think I did this out of ease... and then others because I didn't like who I was. I think over the last 10 years I have really grabbed a hold of who I am and have become more and more thankful for who I am.
Thirdly, in regards to these tests, I think I also feel like it is not okay to just settle right on in to who these tests say we are and just sit there. God's work in our lives moves us, changes us and molds us to be more like His Son. And so we shouldn't be settling in and becoming static.
And lastly in 38 years I think there are things about me that have changed a lot and somethings, so I am told, that have been here the whole time.
So why am I talking about all of this anyway? This past week we talked about our strengths in our team meeting that come from the book Strengths Finder. I had taken the test 2 time previously with only 2 of my 5 remaining the same, thus making me wonder which were really true. Then I decided to just read all the descriptions and figure out what I think my 5 are. And again, the 2 in common remain and the other 3 changed, again! It revealed some good stuff. As I read through my strengths, according to this book, I didn't necessarily learn a new thought about me and how I'm wired. But I did learn some new things about how I like to be lead and encouraged. Or maybe it's clarity on things that I already knew about myself. Either way... it was some great info.
And I was reminded that it is a good thing to be able to share with those around you what helps you, what encourages you, and to be honest about what hurts you. It's not always easy, but it sure does deepen the relationship.
So what am I really trying to say? I'm not totally sure...
Maybe... be honest with those you live life with and know what kind of eggs you like?

Photo of eggs from recipegoldmine.com and chameleons from David R Parks and Robert Siegel.

5 Highlights from My Week... Plus a Bonus!

2011-03-25T13:54:00.001-05:00

My brain is swirling in processing and so I will refrain from puking on all of you!
So here are some highlights from my week... Enjoy!

1) A song that really spoke to me this week...

2) A blog that taught me and reminded me of truth...

Is this how He feels?

3) A video that made me laugh...

4) A verse sent to me that was a great encouragement...

When I think of all this, I fall to my knees and pray to the Father, the Creator of everything in heaven and on earth. I pray that from his glorious, unlimited resources he will empower you with inner strength through his Spirit. Then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him. Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong. And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God.
Ephesians 3:14-19

5) I ate the chicken chipotle enchiladas at this restaurant and was amazed!

Amigos

Hope one of all of them encourage you! Or at least give you a good laugh!

Oh and... bonus... This video is amazing...

G.O.S.P.E.L. from Humble Beast Records on Vimeo.

Arboretum Take 37!

2011-03-19T22:11:00.000-05:00

I just can't get enough of the arboretum in the spring time!

And taking pictures of this awesome family!

Super Moon!

2011-03-19T21:33:00.000-05:00

Tonight there was a SUPERMOON! Who actually knew!
It was amazing to see, and so stinkin' hard to actually get a picture of! Here are my my few favs...

Exercise of Choice

2011-03-19T09:58:00.001-05:00

I haven't blogged in a while because I have wrestled with whether or not I could post my thoughts. Truth is, I am wrestling with God again. It seems to be my most favored choice of exercise. Too bad it doesn't tone up my physical heart like it does my soul!
My struggle is nothing new, in fact it feels like an old one that has resurfaced. I want to be married! There I said it! It actually isn't an easy thing for me to say, hence where lots of the wrestling comes in. The desire has always been there, but it has been somewhat dormant until 6 or 8 months ago. I noticed that it started to weigh more in my thoughts, that I was more aware of what I wanted. And then of course that put me into the struggle. The struggle of wondering why the Lord has "kept it from me." Now I realize that is not the greatest way to look at it, but at times it does feel that way.
I want to pause here and say... when I look back at the last 9 years of my life, I can not imagine it being different than it was. I have LOVED all that I have been given the privilege of being a part of. I know that it would have all looked drastically different if I had been in a different life stage. I know that I have gotten to go and do a lot because I am single. I know there are people's lives I have been involved in because I'm unattached. And I really would not change any of it!
But for whatever reason, the desire has risen to the surface again and I'm not sure what to do with it. You see there is more to the struggle than just wanting to be married. I find myself wrestling with whether or not I want to actually pray for a husband. This is going to sound somewhat crazy, but I am afraid of what might happen. So much of what has happened in my life has been by faith and obedience. I have had to release what I want so that God could be glorified with the plan He was unfolding. And yet it took work on me and it was not always easy and yet it always changed me, and I do believe for the better.
But I have this fear that praying for a husband is going to call for the same action and I am scared. I'm scared He is going to take me to places I will not want to go or will be afraid to go or will "change my mind about wanting it." I know you might be thinking I am nuts, or that this seems a little dramatic. (I do have a little drama in me.)
And so I am wrestling. Wrestling with why God has chosen to put me where I am. Wrestling with the questions... Are you being most glorified with me single? Is this where you have chosen to put me and you are choosing this for me for good? Is it because I am fearful that you have not brought him in? Am I hoping for something that is not going to happen?
It is also tempting to start asking these questions... Is there something wrong with me? Am I not being "available" enough? Is it because I have chosen to work in Family Ministry on church staff that has kept me single? (Although that one gets trumped real fast because I do believe I have been right where He called me to be.) Actually I guess a lot of questions get trumped because I do believe I have been walking in obedience to where I have been called.
And so this morning I was journaling once again with all of this, all the questions of why and then the fears associated with asking for what I think I want. And I'll throw another piece out there... I also fear that I will ask for it and God will give it to me, but not because it is what He has for me. See also the Israelites asking for a king! But this morning I read a devotional where the verse in Matthew 11:26 was quoted...
Yes, Father, it pleased you to do it this way.
And I was once again reminded of God's sovereignty. Of His being fully in control. And then I kept reading and of course it gets to one of the most famous parts of scripture....
Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.”
I think wrestling will forever be a part of who I am. Most of the time I am thankful that God created me this way and I am all the time thankful that He loves me and can handle all of it.
And so... off to recover a little from my exercising and rest by placing all of this in His very capable hands! At least for a little while!

Photo taken by Kevin McConaghy.

flexib!!!

2011-02-27T15:14:00.000-06:00

Here is a group of my fav pics from our trip to Haiti!

On our shirts for the trip was the creole word for flexible... FLEXIB!

It for sure became the theme of our trip!

Here we are on the bus headed to MOH!

Sunset as we drove in...

Jeanie as she is hanging her mosquito net. A little overexposed, but I thought kinda cool!

This is the moonset I got to see the first morning. Really cool!

A fun group of the girls!

These little guys were headed to school as we were headed out!

There will be 500 homes built on this property so those in temporary homes can move out!

These are cactus. They use them as their fence. Pretty genius!

The Haitian kids loved helping paint!

Our tarantula friend. I tried to protect him from our kids and then a Haitian man walked by

and smashed him with a rock :(

Can you say awesome!

This sweet little girl tore up this metallic wig. She was having so much fun with it.

Not a lot of words needed for these!

During church there was a group of guys that did not want me to take their picture. We were goofin' around. When I would pick up the camera they would hide and laugh! It was so great!

Lots of hula-hoopin'! The biggest hit!

Oh if I could only have one :)

These kids are watching a really funny skit. It was sooo great to see all the laughter!

Sharing the truth of Jesus!

Ladies who have become amputees, many from the earthquake are making

headbands, coin purses and purses. Pretty awesome to see!

Trash pick up!

And a little time at the beach!

The more I get away from the trip the more amazed I am at all God accomplished!

So thankful for all I get to be a part of!

What is your favorite pic??

The Heart of God

2011-02-26T10:18:00.000-06:00

A couple of years ago I took a short weekend away. I like to get away at least twice a year to just be with the Lord, to listen and process. In 2009 I sat down to think about all that God gives. This was the result...

THE HEART OF GOD

Sprinkles of Spring

The warmth of Summer

The cool breeze of Fall

Chills of Winter

All from the hand of God

Laughter from children

The tears of loss

The songs of truth

Wisdom from experience

All from the hand of God

Comfort for fear

The assurance of salvation

The acceptance of wrestling

Freedom from truth

All from the hand of God

Strength for the trial

The hope of His return

The peace from His Sovereignty

Joy from trust

All from the hand of God

Wholeness from brokenness

The completeness of forgiveness

The blindness of grace

Holiness from imperfection

All from the hand of God

Rest from confidence

The belief from unbelief

The release from bondage

Surrender from faith

All from the hand of God

Wisdom for godliness

The courage to obey

The heart for service

Compassion for others

All from the hand of God

Friends for a time

The ones that sharpen

The ones that listen

Friends that last

All from the hand of God

The hand of God all from the heart of God!

March 20, 2009

(The picture above is of a little boy in Haiti who was with the Village of Hope. He has special needs and was not responding much to us until they broke out the bubbles. And then he was filled with laughter!)

Who God Ache's For...

2011-02-26T08:52:00.001-06:00

I started this devotional book a couple of weeks ago and love it! It has really had some great things to ponder and be reminded of. An entry I read over a week ago has really stuck with me. It talks about mental health and the subtitle says... "awakening amazement at the strange glory of ordinary things." (It's on page 69 in case you want to read the whole thing.)
This little section has reminded me to be aware and pay attention to what God has created! This is something that I do often (see all the crazy amounts of GB of photos I have taken solely of nature)! But also last night I was reminded that of everything created, we are God's prized creation. He sees us as more beautiful than the sunsets and amazing landscapes. THIS IS NOT EASY FOR ME TO COMPREHEND! In fact it is something that I have to remind myself and work to believe. Because I see the CRAP in my life. I see the faults, I see the sin... I see ME! AND yet I forget... God sees me through His Son. He sees me as perfect. His Son died so this could be true and I BELIEVE! And wow! What an amazing thing! I've been given the blessing of seeing some pretty amazing almost unbelievable beauty in what He has made... but all for us to enjoy and to show His glory... and He wants us to be that for the world to see. To see who He is, what He has done for us, and what He wants to continue to do. He wants us to show others who He is because they need HIM!
Another thing that speaks to me a ton about "who God is" is music written about Him and who we are. Last night I heard a song that will be playing on my phone and in my car for weeks to come. It's called "God of My Everything" by Bebo Norman. Listen to it here and take in the truth of what it's saying... You are who God aches for!!!

The Rooster!

2011-02-25T09:48:00.001-06:00

It is going to sound a little crazy but my greatest spiritual take away from our trip came from none other than... THE ROOSTER!
This rooster was crazy! He cocka-doodle-dooed at all hours of the day and night. Pretty much every morning we would wake up to discussions of how to make the rooster dinner.
On Saturday morning I woke up and heard the Muslim call to prayer. I have heard it in Africa and Haiti. It is speaking and chanting that is over a loud speaker. At the same time I am listening to this I hear the rooster start in again. And I thought... that rooster is God's creature and he is reminding me to pray. And this rooster does not just go off once a day. In fact we all joked that this rooster's clock was OFF!
Then I thought about the verse in...
1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
Rejoice always; pray without ceasing; in everything give thanks; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.
This rooster was sent to remind me to pray without ceasing. And oh how often do I have my time with the Lord in the morning and then start through out my day without remembering to pray, to stay in contact with the Lord, the one who sustains me and guides me?!
The rest of the trip, when I was laying in bed and heard the rooster or even when I was walking around in the day and he did his thing... I would stop and pray. It sure did allow me to give thanks for something that was working against me. Keeping me awake when I so desperately needed sleep (I can tend to be kinda cranky when I don't get sleep.) And yet, the Lord chose to use Him for good in my life!
I actually miss the rooster. I wondered while I was there, what is going to be my rooster back here in Dallas to remind me to pray without ceasing???

Photo taken by Brooke Mauritzen.

Haiti Symphony

2011-02-23T15:31:00.000-06:00

Before heading out for Haiti we got a heads up from the team that was already there about some sounds in the night. Little did I know I would get the full experience night one, with a little extra thrown in.

I do not sleep well in different places and especially don't sleep great when there are other people in the room. Add in being one of the leaders of the trip and kids involved and that leads to tougher sleeping conditions for me. So here's the scene... it's our first night there and when we arrive to start unloading our baggage a thunderstorm blows in, drenching everyone! So we wait to get all unloaded and sorted. And sorted includes making our beds and getting mosquito nets put up. I get all situated in my lower bunk and clothes my eyes. The first to chime in to the symphony is the fans! We all brought fans to aid in the movement of air. These are just fine with me as I sleep with one on every night. Next to chime in is the barking dog. I have no clue what this dog is barking at, but it is loud and I am pretty sure sitting right outside our door barking. Next... the roosters. Now these guys literally talk to each other all night long! Then a noise I was not expecting... a blood curdling scream.

I lay there for a minute trying to decide if I needed to get up. I ask Jeanie who is sleeping above me if she thought it was one of our girls. She said yes, but that Carol was in the room so she could handle it. I think to myself... "You are the trip leader, you have to get up and go check." I repeated this to myself a few times in the few seconds I lay there, and decide to get up. (Now before you think horribly of me, there was no noise after the first scream so I wasn't ignoring more screaming.)

I get out of bed and walk in the other room and all is quiet in our room, but I notice the lights on in the room next to us and a low murmur of talking. (The room next to us is the other Watermark team of girls.) I go back into my room and throw a blanket around me to go see if everyone is ok, Jeanie goes with me too. When we get into the room there is mayhem. Stephanie is in the fetal position on her bed retiring as their trip leader. The other girls are talking about a rat that ran through the room and they are trying to figure out where it has gone. The are explaining to me how long it was... body... 6 inches! Yikes that sounds big.

So lots of checking behind bags and such when that sucker comes running towards the door, where I am standing, yes I screamed. It gets freaked out, runs back into the bathroom into a hole in the wall. The girls are getting into position to catch it when it runs back out, the go to put a trashcan over it and the things jumps out, onto one of their hands and back into the hole. More screaming!

Now Ashley Marie is more determined than ever. She has work gloves on her hands and is hiding in the bathroom to lure the sucker out. I run to get my camera not wanting to miss anything. I hear screaming and then... "Suzanne, hurry, it is wiggling in my hands!"

She waits for me to get my camera all ready and this is the pic...

We had originally said we would kill it... but once we saw it's cute face, we couldn't. So Ashley Marie just took it out and chucked it in the construction.

Of course that meant that it came back later in the week to terrorize all of us. But hey, it was a great adventure for the night. I literally laid in my bed chuckling to myself as I listened to the dog barking right outside our room and then it's bark would get father and farther away and then it would come back later and repeat. I pictured the rat trying to come back up to the room and the dog was chasing it away.

The symphony also gained doves and goats as the week went on.

(And a side note... Jeanie told me that there were multiple ones that she would hear each night running around on my bags and climbing in the walls. I did not believe her until one morning I woke up and there were little feet prints all over my dusty bags... EEEEWWW!)

Peeps and Ice Cream

Some Favorite Moments

An. Amazing. Team.

Provision, Joy, & Family

Video Thursday... David & Goliath

Here We Go!

Video Thursday... Story of Jonah!

Costa Rica!

Thanksgiving Day

New York!

2011 in Review

Great Team

Want vs Need

Nativity Scene

Video Thursday: Cosby Outtakes Part 3

Video Thursday: Cosby Outtakes Part 2

A 10 Year Letter

Video Thursday: Cosby Outtakes Part 1

Video Thursday: Stop It!

Little Sucker Update!

Video Thursday : The Evil Look

Video Thursday : Pandas

Video Thursday : Charlie Chuckles

Video Thursday : Tim Hawkins... Old Rock Stars

Video(s) Thursday : We are the World

The Little Sucker

Video Thursday : "Churros"

Let the Unwrapping Begin!

Video Thursday : Books of the Bible

Witness OR Witness Protection?

wit·ness

A Broken Leg!

Video Thursday : Amazing Grace

Cupcakes...

Book Review: Unbroken

Wait For Your Bo"az"!

I Love You Too!

What Are You Trusting In?

Video Thursday : The G.O.S.P.E.L.

man-made vs God!

Video Thursday : My Few Moments of Fame

How ya doin'?

The Meltdown!

Video Thursday : Why Community?

Making the Invisible... Visible!

No Really... I Feel Crazy!

Video Thursday : Just A Little Laughter

Video Thursday : Jacob's Turn

A New Favorite!!!

Fun Surprise!

Just For Today!

This Week... BLAH!

Video Thursday : Daily Affirmations

Two Great Reminders

Video Thursday : What Gifts Do You Have?

Painting With My Community Peeps

Mavs and Superstition

Suzanne SandersonDelimna... I should watch the game or should go to bed? #mavs

Video Thursday : What's Most Important?

My Food Stamp Challenge

God's Glory Displayed

You Have Me!

Can't Get Enough!

Bridge The Gap

Right Where I Need to Be!

Creativity in the Sky

Book Finished... One Thousand Gifts

The Main Thing

Painting of a Rainy Night

Hold You!

"Wasted Time?"

The Miracle of Life

Percentages

We Are NOT Alone!

Warrior Dash 2011 COMPLETE... with a small confession...

Like An Eagle...

Give Thanks to the Lord...

Chameleons and Eggs

5 Highlights from My Week... Plus a Bonus!

Arboretum Take 37!

Suzanne Sanderson
Delimna... I should watch the game or should go to bed? #mavs