Friday, August 20, 2010
On a Scale of 1-10
My boss will often ask me... "on a scale of 1-10...?" It could pertain to just about anything... "How much does this matter to you?" "How stressed out are you?" "How much do you NOT want to go to that restaurant?"
Over the last couple of weeks I have realized that emotionally I am "resting" at a 6 or 7. So I am living at a pretty high emotional place all the time. And so when something happens that would "normally" affect me like a 2, automatically is putting me at an 8 or 9! That my friends is not easy, on me or the people around me.
It can be pretty exhausting to live at a 6 or 7 constantly. It can even cause me to want to bail on all things grieving and just become numb or as stated on the previous post, a "compartmentalizer." But, I don't really want to bail on the process, I want to stay in and learn all that the Lord has for me in this. I know that He wants to change me. That He will use this for His glory.
So... I am going to stay on the ride and hang on and TRUST.
AND I am thankful. Thankful for those who are staying on this crazy ride with me and who are praying and helping me when I hit the 8's and 9's. And I'm thankful for grace and listening ears. I am grateful!