I have noticed lately that my patience is wearing thin, my fuse is short, and my ability to become irritated quickly is heightened. This became painfully clear the other day when I was at lunch at a Mexican food restaurant.
The scene goes like this...
There were 2 ladies sitting a couple of tables over from us. One of the ladies asked the waitress for some "queso cheese." The waitress looked at her, a little puzzled, and said, "queso sauce?" The lady says, "yes." And the waitress walks away.
Now, if that was all that happened I would have continued on in my own little world. But what happened next, hit my button square on. The customer proceeds to look at her friend and in a highly irritated and almost disgusted voice says, "what else would I mean?"
Oh no, are you kidding me? I truly almost lost it. I did stay in my chair and said customer has not idea I became so irritated. But... really? The waitress is not the one that was clueless. Literally this woman said "cheese cheese" to her waitress. Can I get some "cheese cheese?" The waitress wants to know what kind... are we talking sauce here or shredded? The cheese part I have, just not sure of the consistency you are desiring!
And this literally irritated me for the rest of the day. The woman thought the waitress was stupid, like she was clueless and slow, and YET... "cheese, cheese!"
Ok... enough of that ranting and on to what this taught me.
It was a huge flag for me that I had some stuff I needed to process. I haven't quite been able to put my finger on what is bothering me. What is all going on in this tornado that I feel? There are lots of factors... grief, discontentment, questioning what I am doing with my life, am I making a difference, am I where I should be? And then (sorry guys) but is this PMS or DMS or PostMS? I mean really sometimes I can not keep up.
And so with all this irritation and frustration rising I start to talk. I ask for prayer. I journal. I process... and what conclusion have I come to????
A reminder that I need to talk out loud. That I need to be sure and get my time alone with the Lord. That left to my own flesh... I will be annoyed with all around me when they don't understand me... "cheese, cheese."
And I don't have all the answers for all the questions above... I just know that I need to take one day at a time. And to trust that God is in control! And for that, I am so very thankful and I think I feel some of the "tightness" and "pressure" loosening a little!
And just for the record... I know my reaction over the cheese was a little extreme! And confession that part of why it was so funny to me is that I remember doing that when I was in Mexico, asking for queso and receiving shredded cheese!
Man... all this is making me hungry... might need to get some queso dip at one of my meals today!